Do Not Cross Patrick Reed Unless You Want A Golf Tee Gently Tossed In Your General Direction

Here’s an extremely dumb golf beef: Much-hated Patrick Reed angrily teeed Rory McIlroy at the Emirates Golf Club driving range on Tuesday ahead of this weekend’s Dubai Desert Classic. Reed approached McIlroy during practice, but when McIlroy pointedly refused to engage in handshakes or acknowledge Reed’s presence, Reed reached into his pocket for a LIV Golf branded tee, then sent it back to McIlroy, in what was supposed to be some kind of burn. . Brother, we have our own brand t-shirts, brother.

You might find it hard to believe, but Reed doesn’t seem to have many friends in golf. He was dogged by charges of cheating dating back to his college days, and he made himself even less popular among many of his fellow professionals when, after running away in June 2022 for sweet oil money from LIV Golf, he then turned around and filed a defamation. lawsuits against just about anyone who ever had something mean to say about him, including several golfers, several journalists, a book publisher, the Associated Press, Fox Sports, the New York Post, Golfweek and The GolfChannel. McIlroy, who has been the Saudi-funded separatist league’s most prominent and outspoken golf critic, doesn’t generally consider Reed a friend, especially since McIlroy apparently received a subpoena the Christmas Eve tied to one of Reed’s silly defamation allegations. McIlroy clearly sees Reed as something closer to an enemy than a friend.

It therefore surprised and annoyed McIlroy when Reed strolled onto the Dubai driving range, expecting a warm welcome. “Patrick came over to say hello, and I didn’t really want him to,” McIlroy explained Wednesday. “I live in reality, I don’t know where he lives. If I were him, I wouldn’t expect a hello or a handshake.” McIlroy, kneeling above his fancy launch monitor, coolly ignored the intrusive doofus, though Reed exchanged a brief handshake with McIlroy’s caddy, then hovered awkwardly for several seconds.

In general, it’s wacky for an adult to pretend not to see or hear someone trying to talk to them, which is what my 25 month old tries to do when he knows I’m trying to talk to him say it’s bedtime. Nevertheless, it must be remembered here that I would be very disappointed if this child – who wears diapers, sleeps with his favorite teddy bear and pronounces the word “orange” like “o-zhwen” – throws an object at me in frustration because that I was too busy to argue with her. Alas, Reed felt that this affront could not go unpunished. “Rory just looked over there and played with his TrackMan and kind of decided to ignore us,” Reed explained. “We all knew where it came from – being part of LIV. Since my tees are Team Aces LIV tees, I gave him one. It was kind of a funny throwback.”

Was it funny? Maybe, although maybe not in the way Reed had expected. Tossing the tee was sad loser shit, but the real knockout blow here is Reed later smugly congratulating himself in public for having tossed the tee. Unfortunately for Reed, the gesture failed to attract the attention of its target: McIlroy was unaware of the tee-toss retaliation until he learned of it after the fact. “Apparently that’s what happened,” McIlroy said, after explaining he didn’t see or smell the projectile. “If the tables were turned and I threw that t-shirt at him, I’d be waiting for him. [to file] a trial.”

“It’s unfortunate because we’ve always had a good relationship,” Reed said, having obviously misunderstood the nature of the relationship. “It’s one of those things, if you’re going to act like a little immature kid, then you might as well be treated like one.” I am inclined to agree with this policy, at least in this particular case. Patrick, let’s get your binky, it’s nap time.